Lately I have been consumed with thoughts of fear, fear of not becoming all I was meant to be. I have found myself relying on the recognition and praise from others to feel satisfaction and fulfillment when I really need to praise Jesus and find it in Him. I have also allowed the feeling of normalcy consume me. I don’t feel normal and why should I when less then one percent is doing what I am doing each day. That’s right less then one percent of this country’s population is waking up to raise and care for animals to produce food for the world as their full time income. While this makes me proud it doesn’t make it easy. So many times I think to myself: no one appreciates the hard work we do, no one realizes how hard it is to care for all these animals, why don’t things go easier for all the effort we put in?
I have also heard anything easy isn’t worth doing. Is this true? I would like to think so from all the work I put into raising these piglets. Though, in the human mind the bad things tend to our weigh the good. It seems like every time we try to get the farm work done to go somewhere special, things tend to go wrong. Something breaks, some animal doesn’t feel well, one of our bodies doesn’t feel well from the stress and work we put it though. Everyday is unpredictable. We can never leave work and just turn our minds off to it. There is no such thing as weekends, holidays, vacation and sick time in Farmland world. Yes, it seems as if we are in our own little world in Farmland. Sometimes, I don’t know why we even attempt to associate with the outside world. We either don’t have time or they don’t understand. I try to help you understand, but unless you are living it you will never truly know.
I don’t want this life to make me bitter or resentful towards the world. Looking at others and their carefree lives and free weekends, with not a worry in the world it makes me jealous. Then try to realize all I have they may envy. A job with my family, a good income and savings, opportunities to have a social media platform and promote agriculture. What I do is something special, unique and exceptional from the norm. I have the ability to see new life born and care for a living creature. I have time in nature versus sitting at a computer under florescent lights. All these things remind me to focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have. Too often we spend our time thinking about what we want, what we think we deserve and what we will never have. How much happier would we be if we thought about what we have and give to this world? I am grateful and happiness is a choice I make. The mind plays a daily battle with this and I will admit working in the snow makes it exceptionally difficult haha. However, this is a battle I must win with love. I choose love. I choose happiness. I choose thanks. I choose God. What do you choose?